As I’m sure most of you have seen by now with social media
talking about it a lot, today is World Mental Health Day. Something else that
many of you will already know about me is that I’m someone who is affected by
mental health as a sufferer of bipolar depression disorder. The combination of
these two facts would generally prompt me into writing one of my (in)famously
long essay status thingys, so I’ll try not to disappoint anyone.
I am glad that we live in a society that is capable of
having open and accepting conversations about how anyone is feeling and the
need to hide away what you’re feeling is no longer as commonplace as it was
years ago. This does not mean that we live in a perfect society; this is far
from the case. Many young adults, especially young men like myself, find
themselves unable to talk about their own negative feelings about themselves as
a result of societal pressures – the idea that men don’t talk about their
feelings and the generally idea that we must all strive for perfection
regardless of what it takes. To that I have one phrase (Forgive me, Mum): what
a load of rubbish.
This is not a derision of the motives for why we don’t
talk about our feelings to people, so don’t go lambasting me in the comments
before you’ve finished this. My enflamed comment there is we feel we need to
live our lives according to an outdated system that has existed in British
culture for decades – the stiff upper lip. Only a conversation I was having
early today says a lot about this; the British people think rather than feel. We
find it uncomfortable to talk about how we feel, whether it be about ourselves
or how we feel for one another for whatever reason that may be. This will lead
to a backlog of feelings and that pressure can often cause great harm to many
people.
I get that. I get that as I understand that it is
terrifying to tell someone that you’re scared by your own thoughts, the fear of
rejection and humiliation at not being strong enough to deal with your own
problems. But there is nothing weak in asking for help from someone. There is
nothing weak in needing someone to listen to you talk about your fears, to be
there for you even if they don’t do anything. And there are always people who
are happy & willing to listen to you; whether they are friends, family, or
strangers on the end of the phone at the Samaritans.
Never think that you’re not worth anything because I have
news for you – you are worth so much more than you think. We might not all be
the most popular person, the funniest, the smartest, the best at everything,
but that doesn’t make you worth any less than anyone else in the entire world.
Every single person on this planet is important. We make the world what it is,
for all of its faults & flaws, a myriad of wonder and spectacle. You’re
never alone and never not worth anything – remember that.
I might sound like I’m rambling off a lot of nice pieces
from graduation speeches here, but it’s all true. (What I’m saying is true, not
that I took any of this from a graduation speech. It’s more Doctor Who really
but anyway…) I’ve heard all of this before too and I’m sure that a lot of you
have heard it too. But that’s how I know that it works and it’s true because I’ve
been to those same dark places that others have been to; the place where the
world is cold, dark, and full of shadows, where you feel completely alone and
would be better off not even existing, where no-one will miss you if you’re not
around anymore. But that’s not true. Because the world is full of wonders, of
people who love & care about you, and even if that might not always be
there to see or speak to you, that doesn’t mean you’ve been forgotten about.
I always look at the night-time sky every night before
bed now. I look at the stars shining in the sky; even if it’s cloudy and I
might not be able to see them, I’ll still look extra hard. In that vast inky,
blackness that seems to cover everything and surround all of us forever, there
are pockets of light shining through brightly that the rest of the universe can
see. And that gives me hope. Hope is something that we need more of in this
world – we see disaster, hate, misery, death, greed, and a host of things that
can drive a person to the brink. But hope, compassion, friendship, happiness,
and most importantly love are the things that we all have in our lives that are
often overlooked.
Hold onto them. Because they are your way from the
darkness of the cold pit and back into the warm starshine of love.
I’d quickly like to say thank you to everyone who has
been there for me in my dark times, whether they have known it or not, and
helped me through those trips back into the light.
There has never been anyone who wasn’t important and you
are not the first. I love you all and know you are not alone.
- Alex
